I need help about an autobiography incident essay based on the 1st day of high school?

beings how your not in 6th grade, id definitely loose the lyrics to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air at the beginning. hahhaha. and instead of always saying "john said" or "she said" alternate between saying "john stated" "john muttered" "john mentioned" or other creative ways of telling who says what. a teacher told me that once and it really does make all the difference when reading something. other then that and some grammatical errors, i think its pretty good [: love your descriptive details, imagery is everything.